


Or Whatever

by shipskicksandgiggles



Series: Midnight Milkshakes [12]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Awkward Flirting, College Student Harley Keener, College Student Peter Parker, Drinking, Drinking Games, Established Relationship, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Frat Parties, M/M, Secret Relationship, This Is STUPID, Truth or Dare, i'm not sorry about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30011511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipskicksandgiggles/pseuds/shipskicksandgiggles
Summary: You know how college students are. Ridiculous, a little thick in the head, and always ready to party.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Ned Leeds, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker
Series: Midnight Milkshakes [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635325
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	Or Whatever

**Author's Note:**

> bear with me I wrote this like a month ago and keep forgetting to post it so it's 12:30 in the morning and this is fucking stupid but it's mine. it's also a stupid trope but I like stupid tropes so leave me alone

“Please tell me that coffee doesn’t have alcohol in it,” the guy walking up to Harley said. 

Harley slid a mug across the counter. “Cross and heart and hope to die, man. I gotta drive for some of these assholes.”

“Oh, you’re an angel.” The guy took a sip of the coffee and groaned. “Fuck me, this is the best coffee I’ve ever had.”

“Hi, I’m Harley the barista making everyone’s dreams come true at frat parties,” he introduced himself. “Turns out having espresso under your nails 4 hours a day, 5 days a week is good for something.”

“Damn son,” he whistled appreciatively. “I’m Will by the way. You here with anybody?”

“Got some friends here. Ned Leeds, one of the guys from the house, dragged me out. Claims I’m too anti-social, which is funny because he was anti-social not even a year ago. So I know him and a couple of other buddies I went to high school with, but that’s it.”

“Not from around here, huh?” Will asked. 

“Nope. My bad for wanting to major in aerospace engineering in another state and not wanting to know a single person there.”

Will barked out a laugh. “Aerospace engineering?”

“Don’t even. If my dad had his way I’d be a mechanical engineer like I haven’t been building circles around those losers since I was 16. Enough about me though, what do you do?”

“Basic as hell, but I’m a psych major. Love seeing how the human brain works, yknow?”

Harley nodded, staring off into the crowd. “You’d like my friend MJ. She’s crazy about that kinda shit.”

“She over with them?” He nodded to the group of people Harley was looking at. 

“Nah, I think she went out back to flirt with a girl. Just keepin’ an eye on the rest of my friends so they don’t do something stupid. They should be fine for now though. Tell me about yourself Will.”

~~~

“You’re playing truth or dare.”

“Wh- huh?”

Ned had grabbed Peter’s sleeve and was dragging him over to a group of people sitting in a circle on the floor. “Guys this is Peter, he’s a friend. Be nice.”

They were met with a series of drunken greetings and Ned dropped to the ground, pulling Peter down with him. “Why am I doing this?”

“Because I’m not letting you sit on the wall all night and this is the fastest way to get you drunk.”

“You played truth or dare before, pretty boy?” a new voice asked. 

Peter looked at the guy who’d spoken and smiled. “Once or twice.”

“Name’s Danny, sweet thing, but I can’t think but to imagine how you’d sound calling me Da-”

“Not interested.”

He heard Ned snort as the guy tossed his hands up. “Understood. Grab a shot, and when you can’t go through with something, drink.”

Someone handed him a shot of something that smelled really strong. “Alright. Let's get this thing started then, shall we?”

~~~

A little while later, Peter was definitely hammered. He started by only asking for truth questions, but all the questions were… were… invasive as hell to say the least. 

Asking who you have a crush on is one thing, asking about the last thing you did sexually with another person… that’s another. 

So he drank. 

And drank. 

And drank. 

Now he was past tipsy, but it felt nice. Light even. He heard his laughs coming out louder and louder. It felt good. 

When he let his head roll to the side a little, he caught a glimpse of Harley talking to someone he didn’t know. “Hey Ned? Ned!”

“What’s up?”

“Who’s um. Who’s talkin’ to Harley?”

Ned snickered. “That’s Will. He’s a good guy, and Harley’s just his type. Jealous?”

He scrunched up his face. “Why’d I be jealous? Jus’ wanted to know his name ‘s all. Maybe I wanna take ‘im home.”

“I’m sure.” Ned rolled his eyes. “Who’s up?”

A girl off to Peter’s right, Ana maybe, squealed. “I just went! Truth or dare, Ned.”

He chose truth, but Peter barely heard his answer. It was lucky he didn’t miss Ned asking him next. 

“Dare.” Shit, he really must be drunk. 

“I dare you to go kiss Harley.”

“But-”

“You either kiss him or drink, man.”

Peter glanced back at Harley and caught his eye. Harley cocked his head a little and frowned as if to ask him what was wrong.

“Fine.”

~~~

He almost missed it, but Peter was definitely looking at him funny. Harley watched him almost stumble as he stood up from the circle, completely missing what Will was saying as Peter made his way over. 

“Hey baby, whatsa matter?”

Peter positioned himself between his legs and let Harley rest his arms around his waist. “Got dared to kiss you.”

“Mhmm. How many drinks have you had, sweetheart?”

“Jus’ a few.”

“A few too many, I think.”

His pout was absolutely adorable, and Harley had to resist the urge to kiss it off his face. “‘M fine.”

“Peter, you’re drunk.”

“Doesn’t matter. I gotta kiss you or I gotta drink, those are the rules.”

“Okay, how about I make you a new set of rules, huh? I will kiss you-” Peter’s face brightened- “if you drink this bottle of water for me after, deal? Then you can go back, finish your turn, and tap out for the night so we can get you into bed.”

“What if I don’t wanna?”

“Then I won’t kiss you.”

He gasped as if scandalized. “You don’t mean that!”

“I don’t care that I’m your boyfriend, I reserve the right to not kiss you when you’re being ridiculous. Tap out, love, I think you’ve had enough.”

“What about Ned and MJ?”

“MJ left with somebody and will be picked up in the morning. She texted me her location already so I can make sure she’s safe. Ned can either find a ride or stay here, and based on how much he’s had to drink tonight, he’s probably just gonna stay here. It’s time to go, bubs.”

“They dunno we’re dating.”

“Not yet.”

“You think Ned’ll figure it out?”

Harley glanced over Peter’s shoulder at him. Ned was smirking like he finally got his way with something. “Unfortunately I have known Ned for too long, and he currently thinks he has the upperhand, so I guess we’re just gonna have to let him know, huh?”

Peter smiled and straightened up a little. “I’ll tap out. Kiss now?”

He shook his head and laughed, but tugged Peter closer to kiss him softly. 

“You taste like coffee,” Peter told him. 

“You taste like tequila.”

“Yeah, but coffee is just so you. I love it.”

“I thought you hated coffee.”

He lolled his head to one side. “I mean sure, but you always smell like coffee and you usually taste like it too. It’s not bad if it's you.”

“Anybody ever tell you that you’re a sap?”

“Yeah, you.”

“Good. Take a sip please.” He held the bottle to Peter’s lips and encouraged him to drink some of it. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Peter shook his head and leaned back so Harley had to tighten his arms around his waist just so he wouldn’t fall. “Can we go now?”

“Go finish your turn, baby. I have to put this mug in the sink and then I’ll be right over, huh? We can get food on the way home.”

“Okay!”

Harley slid off his stool once Peter walked away and set his mug in the sink before tossing the old coffee filter and starting a new batch. 

“Didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.”

He’d completely forgotten about Will. “Yeah. He’s kinda cute or whatever,” he said nonchalantly, but he couldn’t keep the smile out of his eyes. “Always said if I dated anyone, I’d prefer to date my best friend.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Mhmm.” Harley switched on the coffee pot. “Listen man, it was great talking to you.”

“Thanks for keeping me company,” Will responded. “And if my flirting made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

Harley snorted. “Good thing I am a fucking moron because I did not notice. Trust me man, you’re fine, no hard feelings. Hope you find a guy who’s not dumb as a box of rocks and is willing to take you home. Look, I gotta go but have a good night, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Peter had gotten back to the group and seemed to be engaged in conversation. 

“Ready bubs?”

He looked up at Harley and smiled. “One sec.” Peter leaned to say something in Ned’s ear before hopping up and practically attaching himself to Harley’s side. “Bye!”

The circle chorused their goodbyes as Harley squatted down next to Ned. “Do you have a ride or should I come back and pick you up?”

Ned waved him off. “I’ll text you in the morning. Go have fun with your  _ boyfriend,  _ asshole. See if I introduce you to my next partner.”

“You know I’ll find out before you tell me.”

“This is why no one likes you.”

“Everyone likes me, you’re just jealous that Peter got to me before you did.” As he stood back up, he felt his knees pop. 

Apparently Ned heard it too. “You’re getting old, Keener.”

“Suck my dick, Leeds.”

“You wish!”

Harley ignored him. “Text me in the morning, and if you get murdered, call MJ. I don’t wanna pick up your corpse.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get outta here!”

“Peter? C’mon babe, car’s this way.”

Peter grinned and kissed Harley on the cheek. Harley did not miss him flipping Ned off from behind his back. 

“Behave and I’ll let you pick what food we get.”

His reaction was immediate. Peter ducked his head and held on to his sleeve. “Can we get chicken nuggets?”

“You’re a baby.”

“I’m drunk and I’m  _ your  _ baby. You should get me chicken nuggets.”

“Why I decided to go out with you, I have no idea.”

They reached the car, and Peter opened the passenger side door. “Please, like you could love anyone else the way you love me.”

Harley only sighed. It wasn’t like he was wrong. 

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/playboyphilanthro-pissed)


End file.
